May. 6th, 2009

blackberry444: (Default)
I'm feeling a bit blue today.  And I also feel mean and guilty.

On Saturday John and our friends are going to York to an air show where they are going to fly a Lancaster bomber.  I think it may be one of the new ones they've recently built, but I don't know.

A wants to go because her father was crew in one in WW2 and miraculously survived when the rest of his crew didn't;  D naturally wants to go where his wife goes.  John loves air-shows.

D has a mobility scooter but it's too big to go either into his boot or ours, so, of course, I've had to volunteer not only the use of Lucy, but Libby too.  I shall be almost entirely housebound for the whole of Saturday.  Their car will be outside the house, but I'm not insured to use it. 

No-one has even said thank you yet, let alone considered that I might like to go now that I have a mobility scooter.  I haven't been able to go on these little jaunts for ages because I couldn't walk very far and can't stand still in one place for more than a few seconds so the three of them have got used to going out together without me.

I'm sure they would all feel horrified if they knew how I'm feeling and I don't feel as though I can even say anything about it to John or Charles;  they've all just got used to the status quo!

I feel really mean about this and although I have to admit that I'm not really interested in air shows, I do like to go on days out to places where they have interesting stalls of things to buy and in having lunch out with my friends and maybe visiting a pub or the beer-tent.

As it is, I shall be staying at home waiting for a Sainsbury's delivery of very expensive Gluten Free foodstuffs for Charles, and because John is broke at the moment, I shall have to fill the car with diesel on Friday and give/lend him £50 for expenses on the day.

I feel so resentful.  I am just a horrible person!

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blackberry444

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