Blackberry's journal

I've had a copy letter today, of the letter Doctor Adams sent to my Lovely Lady Doctor.  At the bottom is a note of the tests he has scheduled for me, including a myocardial perfusion scan, which I don't think I've had yet, after which he has written "(silent ischaemia?)"

This possibility puts an entirely new complexion on things.  My mother died very suddenly in her mid 50s of ischaemic heart disease, having exhibited no symptoms that anyone ever knew about, although she did have many dizzy episodes which were put down to Meniére's disease.

I have to say that this has made me feel quite anxious, although I haven't told John or Charles.  John saw the letter but I don't think the phrase will have meant much to him.

Charles and I are both feeling unwell today anyway.  He had only three hours' sleep last night and has a terrible headache.  I was fine until I started home from Costco, when I started feeling sick.  I put it down to hunger as I'd eaten very little breakfast, much earlier than usual, but eating just changed it from nausea to a general feeling of unwellness.  Consequently our schedule is now miles behind.  I feel more or less all right now, though.

I did sit down this afternoon and wrap presents and do cards for the neighbours and a couple of people who sent me cards and who I hadn't sent one to.  I heard unexpectedly from my second cousin Pat who was my father's mother's niece.  Goodness knows how old she must be now,  I had rather imagined that she had died as I didn't hear from her last year, but she has moved again and is living in a retirement flat in Guildford.

At least I managed to get the gammon from Costco as well as the beef, although the gammon cost about double the price from the shop in the market, but I can't leave it till Monday as I need to soak it tomorrow night so that I can cook it for Christmas Eve dinner.

It doesn't look as though Charles will have time to steam clean the oven, but he needn't think that he's got away with it!  I shall make him clean it after Christmas now!

I still have to go to Aldi for something tomorrow, but I'm putting Charles and John on house-decorating and cleaning duties before I go.  I'm also making them do the final last-minute shopping for perishables at Morrison's on Monday, so that after I get back from Aldi tomorrow, I don't have to leave the house for anything until after Christmas and can concentrate on cooking and organising everyone else, which I do so well!

At least Charles' main Christmas present finally arrived this morning while John and I were out.  It's just as well I insisted that Charles got up and lay on the sofa, so that he could hear the doorbell, even if he was asleep, otherwise we might not have got it in time.  It's securely wrapped and hidden in the wardrobe now.

I can't understand why it's taken so long to come.  I understand that my Sis's Christmas present, also from Amazon, was delivered not very long after I ordered it, although they just threw it over the back gate as she was out and she didn't discover it until she went to put something in the dustbin.  Fortunately it hadn't rained before she found it.

Everything else I ordered from Amazon came about a fortnight ago, so I suppose it was just an evil fairy making sure that I remained anxious for as long as possible!

We have one of Costco's wonderful fresh giant pizzas to eat tonight.  I think that as I'm going to cook the beef tomorrow, I shall serve some of it for dinner with all the trimmings.  Normally we just have it cold in sandwiches over the Twelve Days  but if I'm going to cook it tomorrow, it makes sense to have some of it while it's still hot and wonderful.

Oh well, time to go down and put the pizza in the oven.  I must make the brandy butter which I forgot to do yesterday.

That naughty Bramble!  When we returned from Costco I unloaded the shopping and left the croissants on the kitchen table.  In the short time I was away, Bramble had managed to open the packet and eaten half of one croissant and a piece of another.  This isn't the first time he's done this. Bad, bad baby!

We finally got to John Lewis this afternoon, and sure enough they had several wallpapers we liked. We settled on one with ivy on an almost white background, I gave the assistant all my details and now only have to telephone to let her know how many rolls we require and give her my card details.

It was so much easier than I was dreading, because John Lewis is right next to a large car park which has a bridge across to the second storey of the shop. Inside there were lifts and escalators everywhere and we found Home Decorating in the basement very easily. It took quite a long time to decide which paper to buy, as I found three which I really liked, so I gave John the casting vote.

It was all so painless that I whisked John round the corner to Marks and Spencer to buy a suit for the forthcoming wedding. I cannot believe that he bought a perfectly nice-looking, smart and apparently serviceable suit for £79. Last time he bought a suit it cost best part of £200, or maybe more and when he used to have them made bespoke they were even more expensive. Not only that, but because you can buy the jackets and trousers separately, it fits perfectly; even the trousers don't need to be taken up!!

He's such a fibber, though. When I said he had to have a new white shirt and a new tie, he said he had a perfectly good white shirt at home and he didn't need a tie. When we got home and I demanded to see the shirt and tie, he brought out a couple of white shirts so ancient that they're not even white any more, and probably stretch open between the buttons and the tie he was proposing to wear is his regimental tie, which is ancient and looks as though he's been tying things up in the garden with it. I don't know, he's like a sulky teenager sometimes.

We had a problem finding our way back to the car park. We returned to John Lewis, but because we didn't go in through the door we had come out of, we got completely lost. We must have spent 20 minutes going up and down on escalators and in lifts, looking for the floor which had the bridge to the car park, asking members of staff, who seemed to have no idea how to get out of the place, and finally being told how to get out of there by another customer. I felt really silly.

I didn't try it on, but as we were passing, I did see a really lovely hat in Accessorize which might be just right for the wedding if I ever find a dress to wear, so I may go back on my own or possibly with Charles.

I saw a very small handbag in John Lewis which I thought might do and it turned out to cost £125. Maybe I should look in Accessorize for a bag too. I have a beautiful and expensive handbag which I've hardly ever used, but it's shiny brown patent, which is, of course, the reason I've hardly used it.

I got on much better than I expected.  I only got breathless twice, and was able to find a seat till I recovered, and I had no trouble walking.  Mind you, everywhere has escalators and lifts.  Marks & Spencer even had a very short escalator for the half-dozen steps up into the shop, and I noticed in John Lewis that there was a lift for wheelchairs users to go up a similar short flight of steps from one department to another.

I feel confident enough to go back again, although I don't think I can go alone because I can't carry anything heavier than a couple of books.  Maybe that will get better when I see the cardiologist.

This evening Bramble went missing and I was horrified to find that he's finally worked out how to get down into the front garden from my open bedroom window.  Of course, he can't get back up again. 

Charles was looking for him all over the house, and I sat at my desk calling him.  When I got up to do something, I caught sight of him on the other side of the road, and when I called to him again, he started to return across the road but changed his mind.

I went downstairs and eventually managed to get him in, but since we don't let the cats out at night, because that is when most of them get killed, I can now only have the window open a couple of inches and Bramble is very cross about it.  It means that poor Phoebe, who's such a good cat and never gives us a moment's anxiety, can't sit out on the windowsill, either, which she loves to do late at night.  If she could tolerate the bedroom door being shut so that Trouble couldn't get in, it would be OK, but as soon as the door to a room is shut she becomes completely paranoid and runs about in distress until it's opened.

So neither of them can sit on the windowsill and I can only have the window open a crack.

I'm going to lock them both out tonight and have the window open as much as I like!