I shall say this just once.

[blackberry444]

I have got into a lot of grief in an online community I had  valued up till now, and of which I have been a member for well over 10 years, because  I was upset that someone on my LJ friends list repeated information she had obtained here, in that community, in furtherance of an argument we were having.  She also made reference to my personal financial situation and how in her opinion I had spent a lot more money on Christmas that she assumed I couldn't afford.

I feel very betrayed and upset by this, because I always assumed that anyone on my friends list would understand that although these posts are public, I do not expect friends to repeat information from them in any other place, let alone use them in arguing with me in another forum.  I would add that I have never advertised this blog on that forum, since I don't think it suitable for that place.

The opinion of the larger group was that it was OK for her to have done so because the posts are public, that I was being unreasonable in expecting her to keep my confidence and only got what I deserved because I don't make my posts private.  I have to say that I was utterly astounded by this as I thought people in that community, who have known me online for years, would understand that friendship implies trust. 

I utterly refute their point of view, particularly since she could have done what she did even if the posts were locked to friends only, because she was on my friends list.

I have hardly ever made any of my posts private because I have a lot of friends who are not LJ members but who wish to read my blog from time to time and I'm not going to start doing so now, just because someone I thought trustworthy turned out not to be so, but just so that the rest of my friends understand this, I do not regard it as friendly to repeat what I have said here anywhere else, without my permission.  I feel awful saying this to my friends, but it seems to be the general opinion that I should have done so beforehand if I didn't want a "friend" feeling that it was perfectly OK to do that, although I can scarcely believe it, despite it having just happened.  I really can't believe that any of my remaining friends would ever do such a thing.

I suppose I can just about understand it in  one way.  If I ever publish a poem here, I don't want it being repeated anywhere without my permission, but I really didn't think I needed to explain that to friends.

Sorry about this.  Normal service will be resumed immediately.